A much loved friend in Kent says that when I retire I should open a special retirement home for retired morris dancers and street entertainers and we shall sit around drinking tea, smoking da 'erb,  farting and remonstrating with the crumpets.
 
He says it's because of my habit of picking up waifs and strays and bringing them home and feeding them up and forcing copious cups of tea down their necks.

The name for it stuck so well that I am having a sign carved for my lovely new house saying:

'Shellies Home for the Terminally Bewildered'

Indeed that's what I am ....

I'm taking bookings now if anyone is interested!