Flighty, Fickle and Fanciful ...

A much loved friend in Kent says that when I retire I should open a special retirement home for retired morris dancers and street entertainers and we shall sit around drinking tea, smoking da 'erb,  farting and remonstrating with the crumpets.
 
He says it's because of my habit of picking up waifs and strays and bringing them home and feeding them up and forcing copious cups of tea down their necks.

The name for it stuck so well that I am having a sign carved for my lovely new house saying:

'Shellies Home for the Terminally Bewildered'

Indeed that's what I am ....

I'm taking bookings now if anyone is interested!

I want one of those and one of those oh and I think I'll have one of those ....

http://www.onehorseshy.com/holiday/funny_holiday/

Can I have em for my Christmas pressie perlease?

I really do not like Christmas, I find it tacky, salespeople are irritating and overly cheerful - I know they really don't want to serve me, they would rather be out with their mates or doing their own christmas shopping.

I've not liked Christmas for most of my life, so I know it's not just a recent thing, childhood christmasses at home were something to avoid if possible, My Dad drank ... a lot .. all of the time ... christmas was just yet another excuse for him to be away from home, then my Nan and Grandad would start one of their interminable rows - they'd end up not talking to each other for weeks at a time - when my Grandad died in 1990, my Nan hadn't spoken to him in 3 weeks!

They lived in the same house, they ate at the same table, yet they hadn't spoken in 3 weeks!! They did love each other and my Nan pined for my Grandad after he died and she followed him only 6 years later. I miss them both very much even if it is just their bickering!

I've also always felt really bad about celebrating Christmas, it all seems so wrong, especially as I know the effort my Mum put into Christmas, trying to give my brother and I a happier time than she had - her Mum died on Christmas eve when my Mum was only 14 and she had to take on the role of 'Mum' to her younger siblings.

We would normally try to go to visit the folks in Kent after Christmas, but this year it's all the wrong way round, we are doing the 'Kent' run on the 18th not because we are going to visit the folks and do Christmas but because we are going to attend the funeral of a family friend who died very suddenly last week.

So there's just some of the many reasons I really don't want to celebrate Christmas this year.

I will do what needs to be done for the sake of my daughter - but if I hear one more playing of Last fucking Christmas by Wham, I will do one of the following:

Throw up on your shoes
Stab you through the heart
Put a bag on my head and sing tra la la
and run away screaming ...............

I've got a feeling that my cat Soapy is conspiring .....

Extracts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am: Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am: A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am: A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am: Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm: Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm : Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm: Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm: Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm: Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm: Wow! Watched TV with my master! Heavenly!

11:00 pm: Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Extracts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captives have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....

Ok .... Didn't quite get the heating by Monday night - but it's promised for tomorrow night .. Oh Joy! Oh Rapture ... Warm bloomers!

The main reason for not yet having the central heating completed is that Mr SketchWeasel had to run a mission of mercy yesterday. A friend had a car .. it died .. he replaced it ... that one died ... yesterday said friends mum got her cheque book out and bought him a Beemer! Said friend is nearly 60 years old and his Mum in her late 80's and she decided it's about time he bought a 'proper' car! So hubby did a tour of all the car lots in the west midlands and there was a very nice BMW estate care for just under £2,000. Our friend is now a very happy puppy!

There's also the fact that at the very last minute I asked Mr SW to fit a towel radiator that I picked up from Screwfix for £35.00. So he had to do some major head scratching and pencil sharpening before he could figure out how he was going to fit it in with his cunningly planned central heating system.

Because of my fibromyalgia we have fitted some disabled hand rails on the stairs outside our bedroom and to the steps leading into the bathroom. Hubby has fitted a radiator under the one outside the bedroom and has said he'll warm my pj's on it for me while I'm at work - I can think of nothing nicer than putting on warm PJ's when I get home from work...Bliss!!

Anyway I've had enough of computers for one day so I'm off to me pit - Night all xx

Ohhhh... whats been going on in here while I been away .. zillions of private posts to look at millions of emails etc ... where do they all come from. I've only been offline for 2 weeks!

I've just deleted many emails - so I apologise if I've hit delete on any of yours!

It's been an incredibly busy two weeks since my last post - I didn't know it was possible to fill 3 two hundred page reporters note books (both sides of the pages) and half an A4 refill pad (another hundred double siders) with notes. I didn't even write that many when I was at uni!

On Friday I graduated as a trained Call Centre Operative - choccy cake supplied to the whole team by my darling Hubby and it was delish!

Tomorrow I start my job 'proper' and I'm quite excited - I've been trained to within an inch of my sanity.

I was the oldest of the trainees and old enough to have been Mum to at least three of them but fitted I in really well - must be my disturbing sense of humour!

We did make a sortie to the pub opposite our call centre on Friday night where I broke my teetotalness and had a wait for it ..... BEER!

I shall miss them all as we are all going to be on different shifts from tomorrow.

I've managed to blag enough dosh to buy the copper pipes and fittings we needed - by tomorrow night I shall have heating at last!

That will save on the electric bill a bit - talking of which I got a bill last week £670.00 as you can imagine I got a bit of a shock so I phoned up the NPower and said OY! this isn't mine cos they were trying to charge us since April this year with some outstanding stuff from 2004. Nay way am I paying that I said cos I'm not an Npower customer for a start and we've only been here since July. So they sending someone out to read the meter - it will only be the fourth meter reader since July. Hmmm... foul deeds afoot, but at least they are not charging us for it!

Anyway I suppose I ought to feed the family - thankfully I haven't had to cook most nights cos the Hubby is being a lovely wife to me and is doing all the housework and cooking at the moment.

I apologise to all for my sloppy spelling and appalling grammar in the last posting.

Told you I was tired!

No more smelling pistakes I promise.

Firstly:

British Gas do not have call centres in India! I know this for a fact because I work in one.

Also - you may have heard from Doorstepping sales execs that Centrica (the parent company for British, Scottish & Nwy Prydain/Welsh Gas) is not an British Company. This is untrue! Centrica is a wholly publically share held British Company. - Yay to the British! British Gas sells it's products overseas to America, Canada, Europe etc .. not the other way round.
And last but not least ....

IF YOU PHONE ME AT WORK AND TELL ME YOU HAVE A GAS LEAK - I WILL ADVISE YOU TO CONTACT NATIONAL GRID (The government owned safety body for both Gas and Electricity) and their number is 0800 111 999

Although I am able to report on your behalf it is easier and less time consuming for you to do it yourself.

And a polite word of warning to all of my friends:

If you phone British Gas/National Grid to report a gas leak and you are not at home when the engineer calls (within 1 hour) the National Grid engineer who responds, will first do a 'letterbox' test to determine the levels of gas within your home, he will then turn off your gas at the safety valve on your meter if it is an external meter and make safe/fix - he will leave a postcard to inform you has done so.

If the levels within the building measure HIGH/or you have an internal meter he WILL PHONE THE POLICE and under section 18 (protection of lives/property act) and the police will grant permission for the National Grid engineer to call a locksmith to open your door and enter your property to make the gas leak safe.

A locksmith emergency call out in the DY post code is £150.00 (so you can at least double that for London & South East) on top of this you have the price of the lock and the keys to pay for - and you will have pay for it, it is not covered on your house insurance! The locksmith will leave a HUGE bill and the new key to your property at the police station for you to collect.

So my advice to all of you is - don't go to work and then report your gas leak, report your leak and turn off the safety valve at the meter if you can - then inform National Grid that you have a leak. It is the safest and cheapest option, because it costs nothing for National Grid to come out and make safe!! Just don't expect him to fix a leaky pipe inside your house - that is not covered (unless you buy a Bundle package from BG called Homecare 400, it's worth looking at! See house.co.uk for more information and no I'm not getting a commission on this! I don't get commission for sales until I've been there 3 months) and I recommend that you call a CORGI registered gas engineer from Yellow Pages.

Clear as Mud? You should see what I've been learning today! Engineering codes to make yer hair curl!

It's been a pretty good day - I'm really tired but it's been a worthwhile week and I've quite enjoyed myself and learning stuff and meeting new people.

I'm so tired that I can hardly see the screen and keyboard to type and I still have my course notes to type up before Monday. I've filled a 200 page reporters note book and am part way through a second one. Only two weeks of training to go and next week I go live on the phones.

Boy o boy! has it been a busy week for me .. I've sat two assessments this week already - passed both 1st 100% 2nd 96% - blimey!

Week one of training is going very well indeed!

Trouble is I'm knackered when I get home - I'd forgotten just how tiring a 'regular' job can be! 8am - 4pm is very weird!

But it's nice to get home to a 'fekkin freezing home' - Bizzare I work for British Gas and they can't help with me problem - except by paying me that is! That's all that's lacking at the moment - Money - as soon as I have some of that in me sticky mitts the heating situation will magically disappear, cos I'll be able to afford the plumbing bits we need to fit the radiators.

Ho hum ....

Anyway I'm going for a long soak in a hot bath and then a dvd and an early night.

Tara all

x

Bright and early at 6.30am ... grr... did I get any sleep last night - did I bollocks!

I drank far too many coffees yesterday - it's all to do with the fact the tea was shite! And I can't cope with vaccum flask tea - tea should be served in my mug with milk and no sugar - it should also be decaff tea!

I was a total caff fiend last night - so hyper that my heart was beating like a fucked clock (Withnail & I fans take note!)

Doh! Took my own decaff tea bags to work today - could I find any hot water - nope!
You can get tea and coffee from the canteen - you can get tea and coffee from the drinks dispensers - but you cannot get just hot water - cold water dispensers are freely available but NO BLOODY HOT WATER!

Arse!

Oh well Day two went well - apart from an arguement one of my fellow trainees tried to drag me into - regarding shift changes, I didn't want to be involved as I am happy with the shifts I have and we were all told which shifts we were applying for when we were interviewed.

Have now met all of the managers - they seem to be straightforward people - honest and efficient with the answers to our questions. Hope that this bodes well for a good relationship cos I hate it when I don't get on with my manager.

I'm now off for a long luxurious soak in the bath - I think I deserve it!

See ya laters x

Well that's torn it - I signed my employment contract this afternoon. I am now officially an employee of British Gas.

The day didn't get off to a fine start though. Awoke at (gulp.. stupid o'clock) 6.45am, felt like shit having only had about two hours sleep. I just couldn't get off to sleep and when I did I kept waking up again thinking it was time to get up!

Ho hum... Daughter didn't want to get out of bed - left the house at 7.30am - plenty of time - due in at the office at 8am ... no worries we'll make it .... BOLLOCKS!!!!
We got stuck in traffic at Scots Green Roundabout (see Andrew Logan's Pegasus at http://www.andrewlogan.com/ )cleared there after a couple of minutes and headed along the Dudley Southern Bypass .... Hmmmm... Anyone heard any news today?? Did you hear about the lorry and the joyriders.... well ... we got stuck in a tail back that lasted for one and a half PIGGIN hours .... I had to walk for nearly a mile as the police were diverting traffic.
Remember I said that I was supposed to be at work for 8am - I got there at 9.bloody 15am . I was a wreck in the car.. moaning and groaning and tearing at my hair.. I seriously thought 'that's it I've lost me job on me first day' ... I was swearing and cussing and not in the best of frames of mind.
Especially as I had to walk through the scene of the accident. It was not pleasant.
I shall probably have nightmares tonight.

But On A Lighter Note!! :?))

I had a really good day at work - all the other trainees are as barking mad as me - oh and my boss was stuck behind me in the traffic jam!!

Oh well in case of further t'do tomorrow - we are getting up 15 minutes earlier and will be leaving 15 minutes earlier.

Oh arse!

Right that's me off to me hot water bottles and a book and hopefully some sleep!
Night all x

OH ARSE!

Tomorrow I start my new job as a Customer Services Advisor for British Gas .. I hear there has been a bit of a controversy this week about British Gas standards ... Ho Hum!

But the reason I say arse is that yesterday I went down with the most virulent bastard of a sore throat.

I don't usually suffer from sore throats - not since I had a tumour the size of a tennis ball removed from my jaw & neck in 1999 - but this bastard is sitting right in the scar tissue and it's really fucking painful to eat, sleep, swallow, turn my head etc .. don't ask what happens when I bend down.. Grrr...

If it wasn't for the fact I was starting my training tomorrow (it's imperative I don't miss it) I would take to my bed for the next week and cry (silently cos it hurts to sob, blab and bawl.)

So tomorrow I shall do my best not to croak when I answer your queries regarding your gas bills!

In amongst my Mums papers that I scanned the other day were a couple of her older sister Gill and her children taken before they emigrated to Australia in 1976. Auntie Gill died in 2003 and I had not seen her or her family since they emigrated.

This year I decided that as it is 30 years since I saw any of my 'Midlands' family I should start to do something about it and have been in close contact with my Cousin Annette regularly.

I sent her some copies of the pictures and she is really happy - they were photos that she'd never seen before. There was one picture that she liked so much that she has now framed it and is giving it to her Dad as a birthday present.

You may think I'm rambling - but it made me feel so joyful to think that the technology we are using today is helping to bring families closer together.

For my 50th birthday in 12 years time we are planning to go to Australia to celebrate with Annette and her family, we won't be able to afford it till then as we may decide that we aren't coming back - but by heck do we plan on having a great time when we get there.

Apologies to all - blog seems to be writing itself in triplicate tonight.

Anyway the cold is getting in me bones, so I'm off to a nice warm Hedgewolf and a couple of hot water bottles.... I think I'm getting old - a jar of horlicks seems to be a sound investment!

Night all see you all in the morrow x

There seem to be a lot of blog meets going on at the mo - is anyone interested in painting the West Midlands red sometime soon (so long as the pub serves Tea I'll be fine) cos I can't get to any of t'others.

It would be good to get out an let me hair doon soon.

There seem to be a lot of blog meets going on at the mo - is anyone interested in painting the West Midlands red sometime soon (so long as the pub serves Tea I'll be fine) cos I can't get to any of t'others.

It would be good to get out an let me hair doon soon.

There seem to be a lot of blog meets going on at the mo - is anyone interested in painting the West Midlands red sometime soon (so long as the pub serves Tea I'll be fine) cos I can't get to any of t'others.

It would be good to get out an let me hair doon soon.

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Anyone who knows me in real time knows that I'm a Teabelly - the only drinks that pass my lips are tea ,water and the occasional cup of cappucino and even more rarely fruit juice if I must.

So I thought I'd post a pic of my favourite type of tea pot.

(just in case anyone wishes to buy me anything for Yule I only drink decaff tea these days)

1.What year were you born?
1968
2.What town or villiage did your parents live in when you were born?
Hawkhurst
3.Did you own a Raleigh Chopper?
No
4.Were you ever a Mod/Rocker/Punk/Skinhead
Mod 1979 – 1981 then sold my soul to rock n roll.
5.What is the first record you bought with your own money as a teenager?
Eton Rifles by The Jam
6.Name a book that was a big influence on your childhood;
A Kestrel for a Knave it later became the film Kes.
7.Name a film that was a big influence on your life
Breaking Glass – starring Hazel O’connor & Phil Daniels
8.Who was your favourite actor/actress as a teenager?
Keifer Sutherland
9.Who most influenced your teenage years? Celebrity/Parent/Peers
Paul Weller
10.Where were you when you had your first alcoholic drink as a teenager?
Friends house – we nicked a bit out of every bottle in her Mums larder and mixed it all up – it was foul!
11.Did you ever experiment with drugs as a teenager?
Nope!
12.Did you own a Sindy/Eagle eye Action Man Doll ?
Had a Sindy
13.Did you have any of the accessories for the above?
Few clothes but made my own penthouse for her.
14.Did you own a set of Deely Boppers?
Unfortunately yes!
15.Do you remember the first episode of The Tube with Jools Hollands & Paula Yates?
I do!!
16.Do you have a pair of Doc Martens in your wardrobe? If so how old are they and do they still fit?
Yes, 5 years old, they replaced a pair I’d had for 10 years
17.Do you/have you ever smoke a blunt?
Yes.
18.Did you own a Parka or a Harrington?
No I borrowed them – permanently!
19.What was your first mode of independent travel?
A Honda Cub 90
20.Did you learn Home Economics/Woodwork or Metalwork at school?
Yes! Want to train to be a Home Economics teacher.
21. Does the word ‘Runaround’ mean anything to you? (Hint: it is linked with an actor in Eastenders.)
I’m not giving my answer to this – cos I wrote this questionarre!
22.Do you own a copy of London 0 Hull 4 by The Housemartins?
Yes on Vinyl, CD & Tape and Napstered!
23.What age were you when you first visited London/Birmingham/Other large cities without an adult companion.
17 and went to London from rural Kent.
24. Have you ever been to a ‘Live’ Concert by your favourite (past/present) band?
Yes - The Jam
25.If so where and how old were you?
14 Brighton
26.Do you enjoy live music?
Yes
27.Which bands (past/present) would you like to see or have seen?
Would like to have seen Led Zep and would like to see Kaiser Chiefs.
28.Do you/have you ever smoked a blunt?
Yes
29.Do you ever have the urge to cry for no apparent reason?
Yes
30.Do you suffer from short term memory loss?
31. Have I repeated any of the questions?
32. Do you believe in Love?
Yes
33.Do you think I came up with some good questions?

Now guys I want complete honesty!

Have fun - at least it's not toooooo bloody long!

It was a busy day for me yesterday baking and blogging all day. I decided that as I start my new job next Monday I should fill the freezer with good food, so that when I get in from work I don't have to be arsed to cook.

I'm looking forward to the day when my husband, daughter and foster son have the necessary Life Skills to look after themselves, which they are going to have to do in the very near future.

I don't expect the house to sparkle and reek of polish when I get in from a hard days graft but it would be nice not to have to pick up and tidy up after them and not have 40 loads of washing to get done over the weekend. I shall be typing up lists of instructions and rotas next! God it's so like being a house parent again - I thought gave that job up in July.

I nicked this from another blogger - it was a bit of a long one - so I've edited it a bit!

1. Does anyone know your password to your myspace?
I can't remember it myself!

2. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonalds?
Do me a favour! I wouldn't eat McVomits if it was the last ?food? on earth!

3. Are you an emotional person?
Isn't everyone?

4. Do you like your name?
Which one ? My foster son affectionately calls me Bi - atch!

5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Oh yes!

6. Ever felt jealous of your friend?
several friends several times

7. What was the last thing you did?
ate a cheese toastie

8. Who is right next to you?
Hedgewolf

9. Who was the last person you ate with?
see above

10. What song are you listening to right now?
John the Revelator - Son House

11. How's the weather right now?
Bright and sunny - very autumnal

12. Last person who called you today?
no one phones me .... ah!

13. Last lie you told?
see above!

14. Last song you sang?
Laughing Gnome - David Bowie

15. Do you like anyone?
like lots of people - but do they like me?

16. Lost a friendship over something stupid?
Yes.

18. Last thing you ate?
see number 7

19. What did you do last night?
smoked some weed and had an early night

20. Faked being sick to miss school?
hell no! my mother tried to send me with a burst appendix

21. What time did you wake up today?
About 7.30

22. Last person you texted?
My Mum

24. What are you wearing right now?
Jeans, Roll neck jumper, teeshirt, beanie, purple scarf.

25. Are you too quiet to ask anyone out?
Sometimes.

26. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Eyes, bum and shoes.

27. Where are you right now?
sitting on the end of my bed struggling to type.

28. When was the last time you had sex?
Dunno

30.How old are you?
38

31. Are you an only child?
No.

32. What’s the most annoying thing people say to you?
they call me by my real first name and mispronounce it.

33. What is the middle name of the last person you slept with?
Ian.

34. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
Apple catchers - purple

35. What is the song you want played at your funeral?
3 of them: Immigrant Song by Led Zep, Sweet Child of Mine - Guns and Roses and Who wants to live for ever - Queen

36. Would you tell your parents if you're gay?
My Dad is already convinced I'm a lesbian (have been happily married for nearly 12 years!)

37. Beatles or Stones?
Neither.

38. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who?
I couldn't be that judgemental.

39. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
Teetotal - rather have a spliff

40. What's your dog thinking right now?
How to wind up a three legged cat.

41. Do you walk around the house naked?
Not til I have some heating in this place!

42. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
These days 1.

43. Where is your best friend?
sitting on the bed playing with his lap top

44. Hair color you like on someone you're dating?
Blond or Red.

45. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
Deaf if I had to choose.

46. Do you have any special talents?
Ask Hedgewolf LOL!

47. Did you brush your teeth this morning?
They're still in the bathroom!

48. Ever call for a booty call?
A what?

49. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Put the kettle on and put tea in the pot.

50.Do you like horror or comedy?
comedy horror films - brilliant!

51. Do you like to watch movies by yourself?
No.

52. Guilty pleasure movie you will always watch if it's on?
Priscilla Queen of the Desert

53. Person you most wish you hadn't been with?

Most of them.

54. Where do you want to live when you are old?
Australia or Appleby Magna

55. Who is the person you can count on most?
Hedgewolf and My Mum.

56. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Paul Weller

57. Real or fake boobs?
Mine are real I can assure you!

58. What is your new obsession?
Blogging

59. Single, Taken, or Crushing?
Taken.

60. Are you happy with where you are?
Right now in my new home - happy as a pig in shit mate!

61. When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
I did and married him 3 months later.

62. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Many times

63. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
If it's an honest and open relationship - it aint cheating.

64. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
Did and they did it again and again - no honesty there.

65. Have you talked about marriage with another person?
I've been engaged 5 times!

66. If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know??
Wine me dine me 69 me! LOL

67. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
Every day.

68. Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Yes Hedgewolf.

69. Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you knew you couldn’t have them?
Yes.

70. Have you ever broken a heart?
Yes

71. Would you ever fight over your significant other?
Yes and have done.

72. What would you say about your last ex?
A slimy shit bag who was the biggest rat I ever met and he wasn't really worth getting suicidal over but I did.

73. Have you had sex in the last week?
No

74. Have you kissed someone in the last 2 weeks
Yes - many times

75. Who's the last person you hugged?
Hedgewolf

76. What is the last thing that you drank?
Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea.

77. Who is the last person you think about at night?
Hedgwolf and our daughter

78. Who is one person you can't stand from high school?
All of them (except for 1 or 2)

79. What grade did you make in Algebra?
I didn't understand the concept of algebra until 4 years ago.

80. What's the last thing you watched on TV?
Jools Hollands Hootenanny new years eve 2005.

81. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Yes! Have you and can I have the photos please.

82. Have you ever had a threesome?
Only 3 - that's a bit suburban.

83. Favourite non alcoholic drink?
Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea

84. If you could have one wish, what would it be?
To end world domination by George W.

85. Is that a realistic wish?
Probably not.

86. Do you know who plays at least a small part in every Adam Sandler movie?
Who is Adam Sandler?

87. This is for guys and girls - Do you or have you ever read Cosmo?
No but I read Bizzarre Magazine - love it.

88 Have you ever watched the Britney Spears movie Crossroads?
She made a movie??

89. Do you listen to Lindsay Lohan?
I listen to Wogan, Ken Bruce, Jeremy Vine & Steve Wright - but not the Ginger Whinger!

90. Favourite colour?
Purple

91. Paul Walker or Ryan Phillippe?
Que??

92. Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?
Is that to shoot either of them - cocking gun now ...

93. Smurfs or Carebears?
Give me a break - I like the don't carebears and my little pony abbatoir.

94. Favourite ex?
A very sexy Geordie called Davey

95. Do you want platinum or gold for your wedding band?
I have Silver because I wanted to.

96. Have you ever paid to have your eyebrows waxed?
Hell no - I'm too scared to wax my legs.

97. Have you ever broken the law?
Yes.

98. Have you ever flashed someone?
I danced naked on a table top in my younger days.

99. Are you pro-choice or pro-life?
Pro-choice.

100. Did you vote in the last election?
No our candidate died the day before the election.

101. Do you think that the tobacco companies should pay for people's medical bills?
The tobacco companies pay more into the NHS than any other company in the world.

102. What scares you?
Anything harming my daughter.

103. What makes you happy?
Husband, Daughter and Music

104. If you could have one person, other than your partner, in your bed tonight, who would it be?
As well as! Johnny Depp

It's now Wednesday and our little cat Slippers is still alive!

She had a checkup at the vets on Monday and has another tomorrow, the wound is healing nicely, Slippers (now renamed Tripod) is gaining strength daily and has managed to navigate the stairs to harrass my daughter at night and she also managed to get into the fireplace and have a wee ... nice!

Our dog PVC is hating this time of year - she's a quivering wreck at the first sound of the evening fireworks going off. Poor little jelly dog.

Errmmmm... it's been a funny few days

My Mum arrived (late) at Dudley Bus Station on Monday evening, and we brought her to our little house (cold due to no f'ing fireplaces being safe to use)

She got bored and cleaned the cooker!

We've spent the week doing interesting things, like going for walks and going shopping (Mum spent a fortune on new clothes, cos they are cheaper in the Midlands than down South)

We got back from shopping yesterday to find our youngest cat dishevelled and bleeding and missing a leg.
She'd had a very close encounter with a car during the time we were out shopping.
My hubby managed to get a very unhappy cat into the cat box and zoomed her off to the vets, whilst I had to break the news to our daughter that the cat was very ill.

The vets took a look at her and were amazed that she'd survived, as soon as they had given her a painkilling injection she sat up and started cleaning the wound.

Our little cat is now home, with stitches at the shoulder, it was apparently a very tidy injury, with the leg having been squeezed rather than wrenched off.

She will adapt to having only three legs but she is on house rest for the next 10 days until the stitches are removed, although she has already discovered how difficult it is to try and chase the dog with only 3 legs and an elizabethan collar on!

Ho hum ...

Hello All

Today we have mostly been recovering from our neighbours Diwali celebrations - which went on late into the night.

Mr & I were trying to watch season 4 of Red Dwarf when all of a sudden BOOOOOOOOOOM... FIZZLE.... CRACK.... BOOOOOOOOM!

It frightened my trousers!

And so it went on from 8.30pm last night until about 1am this morning with many fire crackers being thrown into the street as the Asian community celebrated.

Next week it'll be bloody fireworks!

Our poor dog PVC is absolutely terrified of loud noises, we got her two and a half years ago from a rescue centre near Wolverhampton, she was such a tiny timid creature with big black bat ears and had been very badly mistreated, we were told that at some point in her 6 months of life she had been thrown out of a window!

I can't stand cruelty to either children or animals it tears my heart out to know that there are people in this world that do such nasty things.

PVC is now a much more settled dog but she barks at strangers because she is frightened of them and she has some short term memory loss, which means that she forgets regular visitors to the house and so she barks and runs away and then comes back with a tiny twig or piece of grass and then expects you to throw it for her....

She's as mad as the rest of the family!

Also today we decided to henna our hair - Mr SW and Daughter (who has stunning reddish bronze hair) decided to join me in the bi annual henna'ing.  It's quite a laugh because when you use blocks of henna like I do, first you smash it up with a hammer, then mix it to a creamy consistency with boiling water, wait for it to cool and then lard it on the head and wait for a long period of time.  Unfortunately, when henna'ing one has to wrap ones head in cling film and then tin foil, to keep the heat in and encourage the henna to take a hold.

We started work at 4pm and we rinsed ourselves in sequence at 8pm, my daughter is now a slightly more reddish bronze than before, my mousey red and purple hair is a nice copper colour and Mr SW has gone very very ginger!

Ho hum ..... the things we do in search of entertainment.

Night all - season 5 of Red Dwarf beckons!